Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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