My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
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Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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