just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
