Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
