So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
