I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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