we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
