a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
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We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
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I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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