The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i will never coherently bang her
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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