Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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