we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
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looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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