thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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