yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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