Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
