Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
