He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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