when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
