I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Panties = found
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
