Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize