i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My ass is underappreciated
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