My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Terrible idea I love it
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
