You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My pussy is not your playground.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
