i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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