I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
