Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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