You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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