I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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