I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize