The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
