i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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