no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
