How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
