Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
he had hair everywhere except his balls
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
