I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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