Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
