I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
