I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
