R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
