im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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