Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
