Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
