don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
