how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
