so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
