I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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