Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
