you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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