i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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