You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
