...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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