He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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