you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
