yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
