remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
