quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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