Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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