Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
